What I've Learned About Networking as an "Introverted Networker"
in the Last Few Months as a CEO
Most people tend to believe you're either an "introvert" or an "extrovert"and if you don't believe that, my experience has taught me you're likely an introvert with a profession that doesn't allow you to stay in that shell once you clock in; it's like a switch turns on! As someone who identifies as an introvert, I understand. So, imagine me (or you... AND you, actually), the CEO/ED of a new organization who understands the value of networking but also finds it difficult while looking for opportunities to do so, nonetheless. It's exciting and a bit scary all at one time.
Anxiety aside, let's shift this narrative. "Introverted networker". Let that sink in. It's hard to process the idea of an "introverted networker"(one day I'll coin this term so don't take it) but we exist. I've, somehow, always ended up in very external facing roles; roles that, at the end of the day, make me value down time to process and recharge but never really thought about these encounters as "networking opportunities". In fact, anytime someone says "Let's go network!" or "There's a mixer (of any sort)", I wondered if I have hit my excuse limit of needing to wash my hair. It's one of those things you know would benefit you but sounds daunting. As I have become a more seasoned professional in the nonprofit sector, I now know why.
My life alternating epiphany? I'm glad you asked. It's that I prefer relationship building to speed dating.
While so many professionals, young and seasoned alike, subscribe to the idea they need to meet as many people as possible, "introverted networkers" are content with identifying one or two individuals and making the connection, not a pitch. As an "introverted networker"I've put some tips together to help others.
Tip #1 - DITCH THE PITCH.
It doesn't matter the setting, if someone wants to give you the time of day, they will. Stop trying to figure out how quickly you can say the same things you said to the person before. You know who you are and you know what you do as the CEO/ED and/or as an organization; you giving the same pitch gets old and doesn't allow you to engage in genuine conversation. Ditch the pitch and be ready to speak from experience with the understanding that even if you don't walk away with a check, hopefully, you'll walk away with a new associate you can contact later.
Tip #2 - Be fLEXIBLE.
We all have our own style. Entering into spaces set up to mingle or network, you're prepared to do so and knew what you were signing up for, but you don't suddenly become the life of the party - understandably so. However, this isn't the grocery store either and you won't find all the "best stuff" by staying out of the aisles. You have to switch it up a bit.
If I requested a meeting or made the initial contact, I've thought I should get the meeting started. I have found that isn't always necessary. There are people who want to jump right into business (sometimes that's me) and there are people who want to get to know more about you - be flexible but don't lose sight of why you're there. Allow the conversation to flow even if it ends in another time to connect on the calendar.
"Don't wait around the edges of the room." – Unknown
Tip #3 - be willing to tell The Story.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending who you ask, someone who is willing to give you the time of day wants to know the story behind the cause. Be willing to tell it. That story makes you human, vulnerable, and trustworthy all at one time. Now that you've spilled the beans and maybe even shed a tear, go to tip #4.
Tip #4 - hear them out.
If you're having this discussion with a possible funder, they listen to people talk all day, give them a second and hear them out. There is always something to take away from that story they are willing to share and... and... it takes the spotlight off you. Your level of experience in anything does not take away the fact that there's so much more to learn. We've all had different journeys and those separate journeys have taught us a lesson or two we can share. If they don't suddenly become Forest Gump after one question, ask another. If you are truly interested in building a relationship not just your network, it will show.
Tip #5 - Let it go.
Lastly, us "introverted networks" can (and likely will) carry the good but especially the bad with us to over think every part of the discussion. Don't do that. Let it go. Every interaction is an opportunity to become more comfortable in talking about your work, your organization, and building relationships. Allowing an interaction you don't believe went well to consume you is not to your benefit. If at first you don't succeed, watch a popular kid's flick...
Over the last month I've engaged with funders, city employees, state employees, current shelter providers, individuals who are at the beginning stages of their own nonprofit, and connections of connections. One thing that is for sure is all conversations have taught me something new and, unexpectedly, they have all encouraged me to keep going. Trust me, some days, all you need to hear is that you should keep going, not how much money a grant might be worth.
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